I Almost Invaded a Nike Missile Base

In the early 60’s, my wife and I had gone to San Francisco for a mini vacation. We went to a play, the De Young Museum, the Aquarium and several other attractions. One that was very interesting was the Civil War Fort Point which was at the level of the Bay under the north end of the Golden Gate Bridge.

On our way home, we decided to cross the bridge and head north that way instead of going back on I-80. We noticed an army base on the west side of the highway and decided to go down to see what it looked like. There was a turn off on the road to Sausalito which we took. It lead to a one way tunnel under the highway. When we came out on the other side, we were at Fort Cronkite which I found out later, was a World War II fort.

It was a Sunday afternoon and the large parade ground was being used by soldiers playing football, visiting with their families and others just soaking up the sunshine. I had taken a few pictures of the bridge above us. I wanted to try and get up higher to take a telephoto lens picture of the bridge with it in the foreground and the city behind it.

I noticed a road leading past the parade grounds up a hill. It was in reasonably good shape with a few pot holes, but we decided to try it out. I kept checking back to find the perfect framing for my picture.

The top of the hill was getting closer and then, all of a sudden, I saw this soldier armed with a rifle coming toward me. Just over the hill in behind him, there was a Nike missile raising up. I had almost driven onto the missile site. The soldier with a puzzled look on his face asked me what I was doing there and I told him about my picture taking effort. He helped me get my car turned around on the one lane road and headed back down the hill. It is a good thing that Homeland Security was not in affect at that time!

I'll Never Be a Hall of Famer

Hall of Famers always have to be on teams. I was pretty good in all sports, except I didn’t want to be on a team. In baseball, I could hit a home run length ball, either right handed or left handed....but not on a team, just tossing it up and hitting it.

In basketball, in the high school gym, I could hit baskets 24 out of 25 times from the center of the court to one of the side baskets...but not on a team.

In football, I could drop kick 24 out of 25 field goals from 30 yards out, right through the goal posts. I could throw 60 yard passes until I was in my late 50’s...but not on a team.

I was pretty good in tennis. A friend and I played 135 sets before I beat him. I played with my nephew and my stepson...but not on a tennis team. Most embarrassing tennis game I had was with a pretty girl class mate of mine. It was sort of a coed class. Our scores were about even. She hit one to my far right. I lunged to hit the ball.........and farted!....never played her again.

I liked to play handball by my self and very rarely played with another person.

I played golf at Yuba College on a small pitch and putt course at the college. I liked it and was fairly good at it. However, I was never on the college’s golf team. I was very good at miniature golf. When I took my son, to a miniature golf course in either Marysville or Sacramento, I always made a hole-in-one on the last hole so we would be able to play another round for free.

I was asked to be on the CalTrans bowling team. I had tried bowling a few times by myself. I didn’t even know how to keep score but they elected me president of the small bowling league. I did fairly well, getting a shoulder patch for getting a seven ten split which amazed everybody on the team. When it came down to a crucial point for us to win, how ever, I could be counted to roll a ball down the gutter not getting any points.

I guess at my age, I should be playing Fantasy Football on TV.

Finally, I would like to be a Hall of Famer on Jeopardy and make oodles of money. After all, I answered the final question that $2,500,000 winner, Ken Jennings, did not answer correctly.

How to Watch a Scary or Horror Movie

1. Hold on to the person next to you if you are a woman. This happened to me at a theater in Paradise, CA. I didn’t know the woman but she grabbed my arm several times

2. When camera comes up behind a person, it is either the murderer or a friend.
(if woman, prepare to scream).

3. Listen carefully for ominous music slowly building up.

4. Show only back or feet of murderer.

5. In dark scenes, flashlights are used a lot. When have you seen a murder in broad daylight?

6. Bad guy is handsome, ugly guys are only to scare the audience.

7. Watch out for kids such as in “The Bad Seed” or “Chucky“.
(watch out for killer toys).

8. Least suspect did it or someone who was not in the rest of the movie.

9. Butler or most suspected character did not do it.

10. Good guys leave the scene of the crime with the best looking woman.

11. Lead actors are rarely murder victims.

12. Possible ending. Best looking woman is killer and gets away with it.

Have A Happy Nightmare!

My Favorite Dentist

When I was a kid, I had to go to the dentist in Marysville. He was an old man, Dr. Kline, and he used the equipment available at the time, a treadle operated drill. He hurt me when injecting me with Novocain and I could smell the smoke from my teeth burning with the slow drilling speed of the drill.

I didn’t go back to a dentist until I was 17 years old. Dr. Herrick was much more up on the latest techniques. He gave me a bulb to hold in my hand to squeeze when it started to hurt. It was nitrous oxide or “laughing gas”. When it started hurting, one squeeze...then more squeezes .....and near the end, I had the ball between both hands squeezing and giggling.

My next dentist was Jim Martindale who was a friend from Yuba College and he was a very good dentist who, unfortunately, committed suicide. His business was bought by Dr. Terry Prechter who is my favorite dentist. He kept the same room Dr. Martindale had until he moved to his current office on Plumas Street in Yuba City. He keeps up with all the latest techniques and is a personal friend. I like his Yuba City office as he usually has a funny poster over the dentist chair to look at when he is working on my teeth. Also, on the window toward the street, a poster of the ocean at Ft. Bragg where we both like to go. I went there camping once and found that he was at a nearby camp site.

In late 1996, I was having some work done on my teeth. I was to have an early 1997 appointment to complete the work, but had to evacuate my Marysville home because of possible flooding. I went to Nevada City and was placed in the gym of the Nevada Union High School. I called him at his home and told him of my problem. My temporary teeth would fall out when I ate. He told me to come to his brother’s office and he would work on me there. His brother is also a dentist and he called him to find out where the dental tools were. The dentist’s nurse was drafted to help out.

He had the TV on the game between the San Francisco 49ers and the Green Bay Packers to decide who would go to the Super Bowl. It was snowing there and Steve Young wasn’t able to connect with Jerry Rice and others.

Dr. Prechter had placed the rubber protective thing over my mouth and when I wanted to yell “Watch out, Steve!” it came out all garbled. It wasn’t until then that I found out that Dr. Prechter was a huge Packer fan!!

The World's Most Expensive Snickerdoodle

When I was working at the California Division of Highways in the late ‘50’s, I was living with my mother in Gridley, California. I had noticed a nearby neighbor in the traffic everyday headed to Marysville.

One evening, after work, he knocked on my front door and asked if he could ride with me as his car had broken down. His name was Lloyd Burquist. I had noticed his 1957 DKW before. I had seen a picture in a car magazine where it said that it only had 3 cylinders. He told me that he had pushed it too hard and had blown the engine.

He worked as a mechanic at the Marysville Tractor Company at the other end of town so I took him there before going to work. He offered to pay me, but I told him it was OK as I had to go down that way anyway.

He helped many ways doing maintenance on my VW. He installed a four barreled Italian muffler on it which made it sound like the Porsche I couldn’t afford. He also got the idea of shortening my floor shifting column and attaching a short handle like the ones tractor drivers use to control what they were towing. It made it feel, with it’s short throw, like a sports car.

Quite often, he or his wife Wanda, would bring me some Snickerdoodles which I had never had before and I found out that they were the German equivalent of our sugar cookies but I thought, much better.

They moved away to Southern California when his father died and left him a cotton farm in Southern California‘s Imperial Valley. One day, in the mail, I got a letter telling me that he was fed up the government telling him how much or how little cotton he could grow and he decided to move to Australia.

First, he went over and located some land about 300 miles inland from Sydney that he thought would be great for growing cotton. He came back and got his wife to show her and then, went back for their two kids. They seemed to like it very much. I remember her sending me a picture of her garden with a fence around it to keep out the wallabies from eating up their vegetables.

I asked her if she was still making Snickerdoodles and she said she couldn’t get the vital ingredient, Crisco, down there. Around Christmas, I went to the local grocery store and bought four of the large cans, packaged them and sent them to Australia. About two months later, I had a package in the mail with about four dozen cookies.

They were the most expensive cookies I had ever had, but I savored each and every bite!